Published on March 9th 2022

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TESCO GAMES AND DISNEY ADVENTURES

 

1.

On January 1st, 2022, at about 2pm, I was in my local Tesco doing some shopping. My grocery shopping these days has settled into pretty much the same list of items each time – a large selection of fruit, some veggie burgers or kyivs, yoghurt, dips and a quick check of the Marmite shelves to make sure they're not running out.

 

On this particular visit I also had a look down the aisle where they keep the loo rolls, cleaning products, a small selection of stationary and a very limited rack or two of magazines and news papers. I was having a quick look at the magazine covers because quite often I don't know who the people are on the covers as they tend to be soap stars, minor celebrities and other showbiz flotsam and it feeds both my misanthropy and my sense of superiority to stand there shaking my head and declaiming the senselessness of the masses.

 

I was scanning the various magazine covers and out of the corner of my eye, right on the periphery of my vision, I sensed that there was a figure standing behind and to the left of me, by the rack, which runs along the whole length of the shop, where they keep the bags of sweets and chocolate bars.I'm not sure how long it was, maybe ten or fifteen seconds, before I became aware that the figure behind me was standing still and staring at me, so I turned round to have a proper look.

It was a little girl, about five or maybe six years old. She had dark hair, maybe with a little reddish tinge, tied in two plaits, and a winter jacket that was a bit loose on her. In each hand she held a bag of sweets, and she'd been waiting, patiently for who knows how long, for me to notice her and turn around. I'd actually clocked her and her mum as they walked into the shop maybe ten minutes earlier because they were just behind me as I entered the shop and as I fussed with the cleaning gels at the doors they'd waked in. I'm a people watcher so I tend to notice people coming and going.

 

She smiled at me and I smiled back, although how the hell she could tell was anybodies guess as I was wearing a mask.

 

“ Hello,” I said and before I could say anything else she held up her hands, with a bag of sweets in each.

 

“I don't know which one to pick!'

 

I began to laugh. She was playing a game with me. One bag was Tangtastic and the other was a bag of those red candy snakes.

 

“Ah, now, I'm partial to a bit of Tangtastic me-self.” I said.

 

She gave me a big smile and looked relieved.

 

“I was hoping you'd say that!”

 

She instantly spun on her heels, placed the other bag back on the shelf and pelted down towards the tills.

 

I stood there chuckling for a while, then walked round picking up a few more things and eventually made my way to the rather long queue for the tills. By the time I got there the little girl and her mum were having their shopping rung up and I watched as the mum paid and they turned to leave. The little girl saw me at the back of the queue and gave me a little wave. I smiled and waved back. Her mum saw this little interchange and she smiled too, but a slightly puzzled smile. They wandered out of view and just waited in line till it was my turn.

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I'm not sure why the little girl chose me to play that little game with her. There were actually plenty of people in the store, even where she was standing there were people browsing the sweets. Whatever the reason, I'm glad she did choose me because all day, whenever I thought of her little game I smiled to myself and it cheered me up to think that kids will always play games, and they'll always need someone to play them with.

(Mobile phones may not display this image in the correct place so if you don't see it now scroll all the way down and you'll find it there)

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2.

 

 

A while ago I was at a party in a big house with a huge, long garden towards the bottom of which was a large pond. It was a lovely occasion, with many friends in attendance and much joy and laughter.

One of the guests (whom I didn't know) was a woman, probably in her 30's and very attractive, with two young daughters, one possibly about seven years old and the other maybe a year or two younger. They were both dressed exactly the same and had their hair done the same way and in fact they had almost identical features and I would have sworn down that they were twins if it wasn't for the fact that the older one was a fair bit taller and of larger build than the little one. To say they were dead cute is an understatement, especially when they were walking along with the older one hanging onto her mum's dress and the little one hanging onto her sister's dress too. Very funny.

 

At one point, as I stood with some friends near the little bar under the marquee set up in the huge garden they both came and stood just behind me. I turned and waved and gave them a big smile. Both just stared at me and said nothing, not even a smile back. Just looking at me. I knelt down and said

 

' Hi, how are you, are you having fun?"

 

They kept staring at me, utterly blank faced. Their mother was watching from a distance and I turned to her and smiled, tilting my head as if to say 'awwwww'.

“See you later!" I finally said to the girls and turned back to my friends but I was aware from the corner of my eye that both girls stood there looking at me for quite a while.

 

A little while later it had gotten quite dark. The marquee was very well lit but beyond the marquee as it led to the end of the garden which was shrouded in darkness and people had gone beyond the lights of the tent to the other end of the garden where it was secluded and dark, with no lights at all. People were having a smoke and private conversations away from the music and the crowd. I was still standing at the little bar chatting to friends but also watching people go about, as is my habit. As I stood there the younger of the little girls walked past me towards the end of the marquee and the darkness of the end of the garden, which was actually quite a large area. It's a huge garden, Londoners wouldn't be able to comprehend how big! As I watched she began to disappear into the darkness. I walked over to her mum, who was a few steps behind me.

 

"Your little one has gone off to the end of the garden."

 

"Oh yes, her granny is down there, she's gone to look for her."

 

"Ah, right," I said and went back to my spot.

 

I looked at the little girl fading into the darkness beyond the lights of the long marquee. Then back at the mum, who was chatting to her friends Then back at the darkness. I remembered the pond. It's a big pond, not far from the end of the marquee, and not easily visible in the darkness. I guess something kicked in and I decided to go and check that the little girl was ok and had found her granny.As I reached what was probably in the middle of the lit tent I saw the little girl emerging out of the darkness walking back into the tent towards me, her finger in her mouth and a strange pale look on her face. I realised instantly that the darkness of the garden beyond the lights hadn't been to her liking. I walked up to her and knelt down.

 

“Hey, you ok?”.

She looked down, finger still in mouth and nodded.

"Did you find your granny?” She shook her head slowly.

 

"Shall we go and look for her together?”

 

She nodded. She didn't say a word and her face didn't change. I stood up.

“Do you want to hold my hand while we go looking?”

She nodded. I held out my hand and her little fingers grasped mine.

 

“Ok, let's go.” We started walking.
 

At that every second, bounding out of the darkness from the side of the tent at full pelt, came the huge, massive red dog owned by the householders. I don't know what make the dog is but it's GIGANTIC and red and gigantic. I know it quite well and I always say hello to it when I'm visiting and it's very friendly although it is by nature a guard dog. Did I say that it's gigantic? It came to a stop by my side, looking up as if to say 'what's occurring?' The little girl moved behind my leg, still holding onto my hand.

 

"Are you scared?"

She shook her head. No.

"Good, there's no need, he's actually come to guard us."

I gave the dog a stroke and called him a good boy and then the three of us, the huge dog, the tiny little girl and me, set off into the darkness of the garden beyond the lights. We must have looked like something out of a Disney film.
 

We walked into the depths of the darkness and the garden looked lovely in the dim light. I could hardly see past my nose although I could see people dotted here and there, illuminated by their gently glowing cigarette tips. We came to a natural stop near the bottom of the garden. The little girl scanned the area. The massive dog stood by her and sniffed the air with it's massive red nose.

"Do you see granny anywhere?"

The little girl squinted as she scanned the darkness and finally shook her head.
"Ok, shall we head back to your mummy then?" She nodded.

So the three of us walked slowly back, the little girl gripping tightly onto my hand and the dog gently padding next to me.
 

We passed the pond, shrouded by the darkness.

“There's a big pond there, just beyond the tall grass. If you come down here on your own again will you make sure you don't go near it?"

She nodded.

Finally we got the light of the tent and then the people started to fill out. The little girl saw her mum, let go of my hand and ran off. The massive dog bounded off to the right and disappeared into the crowd. I stood there for a while, deep in thought, then made my way back to my friends by the bar.
 

Now, I'm the kind of person who feels, most of the time, that I could have always done better at life. I always feel that I've never quite got my shit together in relationships, my career, my playing or in the healing of the karmic patterns in my family. The overwhelming sense is that there's so much left to be done, and what I have done already just hasn't been good enough. But here's what I've been thinking recently.
 

If the single one and ONLY reason I chose to come to this God forsaken rock was to grow up into the kind of adult I wish had been around me when I was a kid, if that's the only reason, then maybe - just maybe - things aren't as bad as I think they are, and maybe - just maybe - I can be satisfied by that, and the fact that the karmic cycle of sad events ends with me. Maybe. I dunno. I've been thinking a lot about that lately.
 

Don't Look Now is one of my favourite films.