Uploaded August 11, 2022

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How Can I Change the World

If I Can't Change Myself ?

 

 

Is it even possible to write about Todd Rundgren in a way that fully yet succinctly encapsulates his maverick genius? I'm pretty sure that it is not possible. To be fair one can get a pretty good idea of his work and achievements from the internet – early 70's songwriter of acute ability, pop song maestro, handy with a hook, very good at singable choruses, producer of million selling records, ferocious guitar hero who, at the height of his pop success found...'something'....which caused him to drop out of the writing pop songs business and start making music with a strange mystical themes. Became the surrogate father of Liv Tyler, made records that deliberately pushed all sorts of boundaries and never made the pop charts again as a solo artist but produced million selling legendary albums for others, continued to make his own albums where he could sing about God and The Universe and Healers and (you wont find this on Wikipedia) he and his music changed my life. Hmmmm. Thinking about it maybe I'll just tell you what Todd means to me, and why?

I'll tell you the 'why' immediately – it's because he unapologetically, deeply and with great clarity, describes his spiritual being-ness. Now, it's true to say that artists, musicians, poets, actors and creative people generally are often more conscious receivers and transmitters of the Great Mind's creative urge, but Todd's experiences perfectly describe The Path, or at least how he experienced it and ultimately it's not a whole lot different to how a whole lot of others experience it too. Todd is able to express in music how many Seekers feel, and his insight into the human condition are through a lens of Spirit. For me, a 15 year old trainee space cadet already more than intrigued by the odd, the strange and the Otherwordly, this was powerful stuff.
 

I first discovered Todd through a special edition of a British music programme called The Old Grey Whistle Test, which was a 70's BBC music show focussing primarily on album oriented bands rather than pop hits. I watched it RELIGIOUSLY from about the age of nine and this particular episode, shown sometime during early 1977,  was dedicated to Bearsville Records, based in up state Woodstock, New York, which was Todd's label at the time. What I saw was a live concert clip that featured a guitar player climbing a pyramid surrounded by dry ice and in front of a strange Sphinx like figure, reaching the peak of the pyramid, playing a smoking solo then jumping onto a rope and being lowered back to the stage, all the while playing a series of trills on a guitar shaped like the Egyptian Ankh, which, having already encountered the works of Edgar Cayce and similar exponents of the Mysteries, I knew was a strange symbol of arcane, mystical significance. Not to mention the keyboard player fighting a fire breathing dragon and the bass player doing a wicked solo that appeared to fight off the power of a Wind spirit. Plus, and this pleased me no end, the whole clip was like fifteen minutes long. Anyone who knows me can attest that the only thing I love more than a long ass tune is a really long movie. I first saw Ben Hur when I was about eight years old and the three plus hours of that amazing work of art and love flew by in what seemed like another life changing instant. It turned out that Todd and his band, Utopia, had a new album out called RA and the cover featured pyramids, sun gods, Egypt and a sense of mystical Magick. Once I actually heard the music I was hooked. For life.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Now, one day I might write a book about Todd and his music. I could, easily. It is the music of a vulnerable Seeker, intrigued by the human condition and all the pain that comes along with it as part of the package. But one of the things that stood out for me, once I'd gone beyond the dazzling guitar heroics, odd time signatures and beautiful harmonies, was that Todd was utterly unafraid to talk about his spiritual search and philosophy. Sure, there are poignant break up songs like Can We Still Be Friends but there are also Prog-ish excursions into the realms of the Esoteric such as Another Life ( “I could be wrong, I could be dreaming, but I swear I knew you in another life”) . I could quote a plethora of lines from Todd's songs, almost any of his songs, all of which somehow reflect something in my own life, my own search, my own Karma. And, through his intensely personal lyrics, he was somehow able to examine and understand my own deep and seemingly endless pain.

But I'm going to focus on just one song for now – a tune from his 1991 album 2nd Wind called Change Myself. This song is notable for a number of reasons – it was the only single from the album, and Todd being an very early adopter of video graphics in the late 70's, the video for it featured early CGI effects (including a huge No.6 and a penny farthing. If you know, you know...) but most of all the theme of the song was the commitment to personal evolution. I like to call this Inner Work. I say I like to call it Inner Work, as if I coined that phrase and of course I did not coin that phrase but let's just park that for a second. The need to move on, to progress, to grow, to keep learning and to change those aspects of oneself that no longer serve the Spiritual Quest is at the core of Inner Work. The amazing thing about this song is that Todd makes the chorus one of the single biggest questions that arise from The Examined Life – how can I change the world if I can't change myself?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Those of us who are doing Inner Work tend to have a number of things in common. I don't mean that slightly wide eyed, smiling for no good reason, a little bit drugged out look. People think we're high but they do't understand what we're high ON. No, I mean that we have a pathological desire, a need, to help. To contribute. To support. To encourage. To Change.
 

To, somehow, make the world a better place.

To Love.

The challenge is to do this whilst at the same time fighting our own inner battles, own own suffering, our own desires, our own patterns, our own bad habits, our own Karma, our own Achilles Heels. How the heck are we supposed to help the world when we have all that work on ourselves to do too? I know that, for me, it's been a seemingly impossible mountain to climb and many times I've almost given in to the urge to turn back and return to base camp. Todd's written a song about this too. It's called Too Far Gone. It's amazing.

But in Change Myself, Todd explains with great clarity what anyone who has ever worked on themselves will recognise as a Spiritual Truth, and it serves as a moving reminder of what's actually real in this world. Musically it's a device that Todd has used in a number of songs (most notably in his other towering classic of Hope and Faith “Love is the Answer) which is to set out the dilemma through the verse and choruses and then move onto another musical section that gives us the solution -

“If I want more peace in the world
Then I must make peace with myself
If I want more trust in the world

Then I've got to trust in myself
If I want more love in the world
I must show more love to myself”

Now, if you know, you know that in those short lines Todd has expressed the most challenging things that a person, practicing Consciously or not, can ever attempt to do - to actually love and accept themselves. 

And yet, in those very same lines, Todd has reiterated a very old Spiritual principle – if you change yourself you have, in some way, changed the entire world. You may feel like Sisyphus, eternally rolling that rock up that hill, but if we really want to help, to contribute, to love, we have to at least start, no matter how heavy it might feel, with ourselves. 

That's something to remember during the Dark Times.
 

That last sentence is very much me talking to myself.